


My pleasure

by theWholeShebang



Series: Brand new day [2]
Category: Fate: The Winx Saga (TV)
Genre: F/F, Farah is the best, Masturbation, first time sex after rape, past abuse mentioned but nothing too graphic, smut so soft it is fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-16
Updated: 2021-03-16
Packaged: 2021-03-24 20:53:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,898
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30078168
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theWholeShebang/pseuds/theWholeShebang
Summary: Dawn and Farah start their relationship but Dawn gets caught up in her past. This belongs to my OC-story Sabbatical but I think you can read it as a stand alone.---Dawn made sure that her memories were still pushed away as Farah’s hands travelled lower. But she could not ignore the guilt she felt towards Farah. The woman had asked her to be aware of her boundaries and she was obviously ignoring them now.‘Actually I am not okay.’, Dawn panted hastily, before she could change her mind. ‘Can you stop?’
Relationships: Andreas/OC mentioned, Farah Dowling/Original Character(s)
Series: Brand new day [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2188926
Comments: 5
Kudos: 18





	My pleasure

**Author's Note:**

> Come find me on Tumblr @whatstobedone

‘But first I am going to take you to bed.’, Farah’s voice was soft and caring and Dawn just wanted her closer.

She fell down on the mattress, pulling Farah with her. 

‘Finally.’, she whispered, trying to communicate to Farah how much she wanted this. Farah looked down on her with incredible tenderness. Her eyes drank in every aspect of Dawn’s face. 

Dawn felt a calm wash over her. It was clear that Farah wanted this too. It felt good to be this wanted, this seen by Farah.

Farah’s upper body was pressed against Dawn and the older woman put a hand behind her head, pulling her closer for a kiss. It was wonderful.  
Farah’s tongue was careful, her lips exploring Dawn’s. Her fingers were caressing Dawn’s cheek. 

Dawn felt a lump in her throat. She was a bit emotional. Something about the way Farah handled her was very touching. She could not remember when someone had handled her with such care. Such attention. Dawn wanted more of it. She wrapped her arms around Farah’s back. One of her hands found its way to Farah’s hair. She placed her hand in the tangled mess that was Farah’s hair. Even the composed former headmistress showed the effect of surviving in the wilderness.

Dawn wanted to open her eyes and watch the wonderful woman above her, but she did not dare. She felt tears prickling behind her eyelids but she did not want Farah to see them. The other woman already felt like Dawn was emotionally unstable and breaking down in tears would most certainly scare her off. And Dawn needed this. She did not want Farah to stop.

Farah’s mouth was now placing soft kisses on the side of her jaw, Dawn rested her head on the pillow and enjoyed every second of it. A soft sound escaped from her mouth.  
Farah seemed spurred on by the sounds escaping from Dawn’s mouth and doubled her efforts. Her hand combing through Dawn’s hair and her tongue once again in Dawn’s mouth.

Farah pulled back slightly and Dawn opened her eyes. Farah immediately noticed how wet they looked. She pulled back more and Dawn’s hands immediately grabbed her shoulders.

‘Don’t stop.’, she said, clinging to Farah.

Farah looked worried. ‘Are you okay, Dawn?’

Dawn nodded as a single tear escaped her eye. ‘I am, truly. It is just, I really missed this. To be touched, to be taken care of.’, she let out a small sob. ‘I guess I am just a bit emotional.’  
Farah’s eyes were filled with their own emotion, but she did not move away. Her thumb swept the tear away. 

‘Then let me take care of you.’, she spoke softly. 

Dawn let out a sigh of relief as Farah kissed her tenderly on the lips.

‘But talk to me, okay?’, Farah questioned. ‘Tell me what you need.’

She sat up, the blankets falling behind her. Dawn observed her. They had slept without much clothing but here in the morning sun, she could finally see Farah’s body in it’s full glory. Her big breasts resting on her body, the skin between them wrinkled from the sun. Her soft stomach still showed a hint of muscle from all her training. The few scars that littered her body, no doubt from her training days as well. They looked pale against her surprisingly tan skin. Her hair falling over her shoulders, looking even blonder in the morning sun. She looked strikingly beautiful.

Farah was doing the same. Her hand slowly trailing from Dawn’s shoulder towards her hip. Noticing the few freckles at the top of her small breasts. The three birthmarks at the right side of her stomach that formed a little triangle, standing out against Dawn’s pale skin. Her hip bone sticking out from her flat stomach.The faint stretch marks at the bottom of her stomach, looking like little white flames. 

‘I never looked like that.’, she breathed in awe. 

Dawn grabbed Farah’s hand and placed a kiss on her knuckles. ‘Different lives, different bodies.’, she said softly as she looked at the long thin scar visible on Farah’s upper leg.

Farah hummed in agreement as she settled on Dawn’s stomach. Her knees on both sides of Dawn’s body. 

Dawn could actually feel the heat coming from Farah’s panties. She felt her own arousal growing. 

As if she could not contain herself anymore, Farah bent forward and swirled her tongue around Dawn’s left nipple. Her fingers gently twisting the right nipple. 

Dawn let out a moan. Farah’s other hand was slowly striking the inside of her thigh and she was so sensitive that her hips bucked up.

Farah chuckled against her boob, clearly noticing the response of Dawn’s body.

As her hand travelled up again, reaching the edge of her panties, Dawn tried to ignore the slight panic she felt. Images of Andreas ripping away her underwear flashed through her mind.  
She pushed them away with force. She did not want Farah to stop, it felt amazing. It was hard to hide her memories from Farah, so she had to focus on pushing them away behind the barriers of her mind. 

Dawn hid them with success but Farah had noticed that the body underneath her had stilled. Her fingers lightly scratched the inside of Dawn’s thigh but there was no reaction. 

‘Are you okay?’, she questioned worriedly, sitting up slightly so she could see Dawn’s face.

Dawn was in conflict. She did not want her memories of Andreas to ruin this. She did not want to give him that power. She wanted to move past it.

She let out a fake moan as she guided Farah’s head back to her body. ‘Keep going, it feels amazing.’, she lied.

Dawn made sure that her memories were still pushed away as Farah’s hands travelled lower. But she could not ignore the guilt she felt towards Farah. The woman had asked her to be aware of her boundaries and she was obviously ignoring them now.

‘Actually I am not okay.’, Dawn panted hastily, before she could change her mind. ‘Can you stop?’

She gently pushed Farah’s shoulder and the woman immediately stopped. Still straddling Dawn’s legs, she sat up and looked at Dawn. 

Dawn had hidden her face in her hands. She did not want to talk about it. Did not know how to talk about it. She just wanted to disappear.

‘Dawn, what is wrong?’, Farah’s voice was a little higher than usual.

Dawn wanted to run away but she was highly aware of the warm and damp body pressing her into the mattress. She suddenly felt very trapped.

She kicked her legs and Farah got the message and slid off her. Dawn’s body was once again free to move and she did not feel like fleeing anymore. She curled up in herself.

Farah was lying next to her and Dawn could feel her worry and confusion almost physically.

She wanted nothing more than to be embraced by Farah, but she knew that she could not hide her memories from the mindfairy when they were that entangled.

She turned her back towards the woman and tried to hide the sobs going through her body. She was angry. She did not want to think about Andreas, why was her mind failing her?

Farah’s hand was on her back, flat and calming. 

‘Dawn, I am going to hug you, is that okay?’, questioned Farah.

‘You will see.’, Dawn sobbed. ‘You will see what happened to me.’

‘I don’t mind.’, Farah sounded incredibly steady. ‘Share it with me.’

Dawn contemplated for a moment. Then she turned around and let Farah wrap her arms around her. 

She hid her face in Farah’s chest as the woman pulled her close. Her body still shaking a little.

She knew that Farah could feel her memories now. Maybe she did not experience them as vividly as Dawn did, but it was enough to understand.  
The panic as she realised for the first time what Andreas was going to do. The pain. The absolute feeling of worthlessness as her wishes were ignored again and again. The coping mechanisms, how her mind would just shut off whenever Andreas would pull down her underwear. Over and over, hands touching her body. Pain as Andreas entered her without permission.  
Years of abuse flooded to the surface of her mind, like someone had unleashed the waves. But they did not crash down on her. It was like Farah was helping her float through the memories. She was not drowning.

Dawn clinged to Farah as the memories slowly calmed down. She had to wonder if Farah was doing some mind magic because it really felt like the memories were flowing away like water.  
She looked up to Farah but her eyes were their usual colour, albeit filled with emotion. Farah’s hand went up and down Dawn’s spine, but said nothing.

Dawn was glad for the silence. She felt horrible. She really wanted to be close to Farah. She was afraid that she had scared the other woman away.

But Farah stayed at her side, calm and close. 

‘So, that was maybe a bit too soon.’, Farah said finally.

Dawn let out a bitter grunt. ‘It’s been sixteen years.’, she said with a hint of frustration.

Farah almost seemed to smile, but her lips stayed still. ‘You were imprisoned, that’s hardly the best time to deal with it.’

‘So how do I deal with it?’, Dawn questioned softly, aware that she sounded very young. She urged herself to look at Farah. 

Farah seemed to think the question over. ‘You can talk to me about it?’, she offered.

‘Or I can hide it away in the farthest corner of my mind…’, Dawn suggested, only half joking.  
‘You could’, acknowledged Farah. ‘But I don’t think it will solve much.’ 

Dawn let out a sigh as she stroked Farah’s cheek. ‘I was really enjoying myself, I promise.’

Farah grinned. ‘I could tell. So was I.’ 

They were laying face to face to each other, Farah was lying on one arm, the other one lightly resting on Dawn’s arm.

‘You are too hard on yourself, Dawn. You were raped for years, your first sexual experiences are taunted by that.’, Farah’s voice was open and there was no judgement. 

Still, Dawn felt the need to explain herself. ‘I wasn’t really raped.’, she sighed frustrated. ‘He did not hold me down or throw me on the bed or something. We were in a relationship.’

‘A relationship you did not consent to.’

‘No, I know. I know. I did not say yes, so it was rape in some kind of way. But…’, Dawn bit on her lip as she tried to think of a way to explain it to Farah. ‘I did not… Sometimes I did not hate it. Andreas could be really gentle.’  
A tear escaped from her eye.  
‘Sometimes I thought he really cared about me.’  
Dawn wiped the tear away. ‘I mean it was definitely not the same as it had been with Vera. But… I don’t know.. It was something.’

She looked apprehensively at Farah, afraid of the emotion she would see on the other woman’s face. 

Still no judgement. Only interest. 

Dawn gave a shy shrug. ‘If you say rape, it makes me think of pain and fear and force, but most times a just layed there and let him do his thing…’

‘Just now, I felt pain as well.’, Farah whispered softly, referring to the memories. Her fingers lightly tapped Dawn’s arm.

Dawn nodded. Sometimes Andreas had used force. After he came back from the battle field, he was so riled up that he just took what he wanted. He would enter her and he would totally ignore her pain. But more often than not he would actually do some foreplay. She hated that even more. Farah’s lips now reminded her of Andreas’ lips. The good touches reminded her of the bad times.

She tried to think of a way to explain this to Farah. How could she tell her that she hated Andreas’ soft touches even more than his violence. How that had ruined sex for her.

‘It’s hard to explain.’, she confessed. ‘But because the “rape” was so much like sex, I have trouble making the distinction now.’

Farah nodded. ‘That makes sense. Most of your sexual experiences were forced. It is hard to recognize consensual sex if you haven’t much experience with it.’

‘I have had consual sex before.’, Dawn defended herself. ‘Before Andreas.’

Farah smiled softly. ‘That was over twenty years ago Dawn. That’s long time. It will take some time to get to know your body again. Your responses. Your wants.’

Dawn sighed again. She understood what Farah was saying but she still felt like her mind was failing her. Her body clearly was ready, she could still feel the slight dampness in her panties. Her skin still tingled from all the touches. Her lips still bruised from the kissing.

‘Have you ever masturbated?’

Dawn was a little taken aback by Farah’s question. She felt her cheeks redden.

Farah looked amused. ‘Sorry, I am only asking because I was thinking. Masturbation can really help to connect sex to pleasure again. And you are in total control.’

‘O.’, Dawn smiled shyly. ‘I mean, not much really. Never really felt the need.’, she frowned. ‘Only a few times during my pregnancy, when hormones were driving me absolutely crazy. I don’t know really.’

Farah’s hand was still softly trailing along Dawn’s arm. ‘How about I show you how I do it?’, she asked, her voice a bit husky but her eyes wide with care. 

Dawn felt her heart quicked. ‘I would like that.’, she answered. ‘But won’t it feel strange for you? I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable.’

Farah gave her a quick peck on the nose. ‘I mean, it’s intimate.’, she agreed. ‘But so is sex…’

‘Have you ever done it before?’

‘Masturbated? Yes. In front of someone else? No.’ Farah rose up and settled on her knees. 

Suddenly entirely exposed, she blushed shyly. Dawn leaned up on her elbows so she could see better. 

Farah let out a little chuckle. ‘Okay, this is new for me, but bear with me.’ She scooted her knees a little, until her legs were slightly parted. ‘Usually I am laying down.’

Dawn was watching in awe. She was really touched that Farah was sharing this with her. Also, she was really enjoying the sight in front of her. She watched mesmerized as Farah’s long fingers softly trailed upwards until they reached the underside of her breasts.

One finger was softly trailing around her nipple as Farah’s eyes closed. Her other hand travelled down.

‘I am pretty worked up already.’, announced Farah as she plunged two fingers inside her. 

Dawn could not believe the sight in front of her. It was incredibly hot, sure, but also really intimate. She could study every muscle on Farah’s face as she softly stroked herself with two wet fingers. 

The tongue that darted out and wet her lips. The slight frown as she touched herself in all the right places. The little gasp that escaped her lips when she touched her clit. 

It was wonderful to watch. The care with which Farah handled herself made Dawn’s entire body tingle. How her whole body reacted to the ministrations by her hand. The sudden tension in her legs, the way her head jerked when she circled her clit. Dawn could not believe that Farah shared this with her. It filled her heart with love.

Farah’s fingers had stopped their teasing and were moving with purpose now. Her hand was pumping in and out as her gasps increased. Her other hand moved down as well and started circling her clit. She was pretty loud and Dawn felt a rush of wetness between her own legs.

Farah threw her head back as her whole body contracted. She let out a content sigh and slowly withdrew her fingers from herself.

She looked at Dawn and suddenly looked shy. Dawn was watching with her mouth agape.

‘I’m sorry, I thought it was a good idea…’, mumbled Farah, a blush creeping up in her neck.

‘It was.’, Dawn promised. ‘It was.’

She gently grabbed Farah’s wrist and pulled the woman down. They were laying next to each other and Dawn adjusted the blanket over Farah’s body. She grabbed the hand that had been inside Farah and slowly kissed the tip of every finger, noticing the smell. 

‘That was really beautiful.’, she whispered. ‘You are a sight to watch.’

Farah let out a relieved laugh. ‘Glad you think so.’

‘I am sorry that you had to do it alone.’

‘Don’t be. I quite enjoyed myself. You make cute sounds when you are watching.’

Dawn suddenly felt a little hot. ‘I promise you that I will return the favour next time.’

Farah shook her head. ‘You don’t need to do that. We will move at your pace. We have all the time in the world.’

Dawn’s lips were on Farah before she knew. Her tongue seeking entrance, suddenly needing to be this close to the other woman.  
When they both came up for air, Dawn smiled.

‘Thank you.’, she whispered.

‘My pleasure.’, winked Farah. She closed her eyes and snuggled closer to Dawn. ‘I am not going anywhere soon.’

**Author's Note:**

> Please let me know what you think, I am very curious!


End file.
